That's not my name.
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NANYANG POLY.
4 JANUARY.
touch and you rot.
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Jun 23, 2007, 12:45 AM
sometimes i really wish that they understand my way of thinking in the position that i am in now. and yes, i admit that i did not really take my choices of course seriously thinking that as long as i am not alone then i will feel better in that school and all. but now i really regret so much and my way of thinking at that time cause' i realised it isnt all about friends in the same course as me or what but rather the interest i have and whether i really have the passion in it. so after i told my mum and dad about the decision of transferring to jc next year their replies were all as expected and i got a scolding from them, and no matter how i explain to them, they just dont understand and what's worse is that they think that i am just taking all these things so lightly. i've go many things that i wan to tell them, but it seemed to me that the more i explain to them the angrier they got so this may be because i dont really know how to say it the right way. what can i really do to make them to at least have the faith and believe me, i am really willingly to do anything so that they can understand. but even if at the end they still dont understand i'll still go for the decision that i had made cause' i dont wan to have another regret that left me in miserable.i aso know that my dad is veryy disappointed in me cause' i always oppose the way of how he handle things, and that thinking of mine. all these things eventually led to a big quarrel and in between the quarrel, i may have said hurtful words that may upset both of my parents. in fact everytime after the quarrel i felt so remorseful, but yet i just tell them. sometimes i feel so useless not being able to express out all the things that i wan to say, taking for example is the jc issue.
all the things that i had thought of just couldnt be said out to them and this isnt the first time that i couldnt do that. so now the only thing that can ease off the disappointment in me is that i do something that they will see my seriousness in this issue.
i blame myself for everything that had happen, and it's all because of my way of thinking and my actions, so who else to blame other than me. i can admit that year 2007 hasnt really been a good academic year for me, but i still believe that as long as i persever on, sure can i do something different so as my parents will finally understand and support my decision of transferring to jc. and i aso wan to let them to really believe in me that this time it isnt another impulsive act of mine.
i really do want to let them know this, that though their daughter seemed to them to be those hack care about her school thing and her thinking to them maybe be so childish and all, but the fact that it is not what they think at all. their daughter has grown up and finally know what she want and she is aso veryy clear of what she is doing now. all she wants now is the support, faith and believe from them, with all these she will continue on what she is going to do in future as these are the magical powers for her.
now it's just the matter of time and my way of handling this issue that will change their mind, most importantly the change of attiude towards me from my dad.